[[ BOOKS ]] ✯ Why We Cant Sleep Author Ada Calhoun – Android-point-of-sale-2018.info
Reading Why We Can t Sleep by Ada Calhoun felt like I was reading a biography of my own life The main premise of the book examines that current life trajectories of women from Generation X born 1965 1980 Women in Generation X are the first to deal with new expectations, due to the great strides achieved by women of earlier generations For example, the ability to work outside the home and have children was normalized, but for Gen X women the expectation is that we WILL do both As Calhoun so perfectly states, The belief that girls could do anything morphed into a directive that they must do everything This book examines the ever increasing demands that Gen X women are facing and delves into these various areas of responsibility children, aging parents, financial demands, career aspirations, and physical changes This book will highlight many of the things you fear, and some you didn t even realize, but it will also reassure you that you are not crazy and you are not alone A searing exploration of stresses that keep GenX women up at night literally and metaphorically , I raced through this book, which completely resonated So, so grateful to have received an early copy of WHY WE CAN T SLEEP Women s New Midlife Crisis Grove Atlantic, 2020 by memoirist journalist Ada Calhoun I was feeling especially down the day it arrived you know, that existential angst and was immediately gleeful after reading the book s description we are a group of women with outward markers of success and personal fulfillment, but still feel lousy Work and marriage, kids, houses, parents, all of thatwe might look successful and happy, but underneath of that is well, a struggle Money isn t very flow y, work isn t as easy or satisfying The marriage gets dull The kids zap your energy And what about all of that aspirational labor What then WHY WE CAN T SLEEP mostly focuses on women in GenerationX GenX , that is, those born roughly between 1967 1980, with a median birth year of 1976 I m sitting right there And I feel this, deeply Calhoun delves into a soulful investigation of women in this cohort She talked with many women from all walks of life married, single, divorced, gay, straight, liberal, conservative, religious, atheist, childless, partnered, with children, wealthy, not wealthy, black, Hispanic, white, Asian It is WELL researched Her sentences and paragraphs flow effortlessly and I read in awe I found this entire book wholly consuming and was thinking, I really should give a copy to my Boomer parents Then they might get me And I thought of my book club we re all GenXers And I thought of the woman who does my massages My HS girlfriends I m still in contact with.Calhoun investigates housing costs, workplace trends, credit card debt averages, divorce data At every turn, there s a familiar pattern GenX women face unique concerns and challenges that other generations don t It s about that analog to digital world, the way women mothers were when we were growing up working mothers latchkey kids, at home mothers, hands on mothers, hands off mothers , divorce latchkey kids , and our Boomer parents telling us You can have it all Why And what can we do about it when we fall short Or perceive we do At times, I was a little panicked reading WHY WE CAN T SLEEP It was a bit of gloom and doom, but insightful gloom and doom There is hope, but this title doesn t exactly go into many details other than we can prevent the next generation from falling into the abyss We can dig ourselves out And it s not about scheduling me time or creating a chore chart Such a unique and compelling read I don t typically re read books, but this one, I think I will I found some similarities between this book and the writing of Alexandra Robbins PLEDGED, OVERACHIEVERS, THE NURSES Susanna Cahalan BRAIN ON FIRE and THE GREAT PRETENDERS meets Malcolm Gladwell s work For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see www.leslielindsay.com Always with a Book Special thanks to GroveAtlantic and Dewey Decimal Media for this review copy All thoughts are my own. When Ada Calhoun Found Herself In The Throes Of A Midlife Crisis, She Thought That She Had No Right To Complain She Was Married With Children And A Good Career So Why Did She Feel Miserable And Why Did It Seem That Other Generation X Women Were Miserable, Too Calhoun Decided To Find Some Answers She Looked Into Housing Costs, HR Trends, Credit Card Debt Averages, And Divorce Data At Every Turn, She Saw A Pattern Sandwiched Between The Boomers And The Millennials, Gen X Women Were Facing New Problems As They Entered Middle Age, Problems That Were Being Largely OverlookedSpeaking With Women Across America About Their Experiences As The Generation Raised To Have It All, Calhoun Found That Most Were Exhausted, Terrified About Money, Under Employed, And Overwhelmed Instead Of Being Heard, They Were Told Instead To Lean In, Take Me Time, Or Make A Chore Chart To Get Their Lives And Homes In OrderIn Why We Can T Sleep, Calhoun Opens Up The Cultural And Political Contexts Of Gen X S Predicament And Offers Solutions For How To Pull Oneself Out Of The Abyss And Keep The Next Generation Of Women From Falling In The Result Is Reassuring, Empowering, And Essential Reading For All Middle Aged Women, And Anyone Who Hopes To Understand Them When it is hot as heck outside and there is nothing cool to do but reading as everything else makes you end up a sweaty mess, it is the perfect day for a speed reader I received a temporary digital Advance Reader Copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review From the publisher, as I do not repeat the contents or story of books in reviews, I let them do it as they do it better than I do When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain She was married with children and a good career So why did she feel miserable And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too Calhoun decided to find some answers She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data At every turn, she saw a pattern sandwiched between the Boomers and the Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.Speaking with women across America about their experiences as the generation raised to have it all, Calhoun found that most were exhausted, terrified about money, under employed, and overwhelmed Instead of being heard, they were told instead to lean in, take me time, or make a chore chart to get their lives and homes in order.In Why We Can t Sleep, Calhoun opens up the cultural and political contexts of Gen X s predicament and offers solutions for how to pull oneself out of the abyss and keep the next generation of women from falling in The result is reassuring, empowering, and essential reading for all middle aged women, and anyone who hopes to understand them.I am a middle aged woman who until was obsessed with not being able to sleep or being able to stay asleep after a two year wait, I finally got into the sleep disorders clinic What I found out was that in the eight hours I was three I got less than 3 minutes of REM sleep no wonder I was going nuts Middle age women are sandwiched between many, many things their kids and their parents career demands vs wanting to chuck it all vs debt etc etc etc.Calhoun did some amazing research for this book but the book is not stuffy or boring and I think every middle aged woman should read it whether they have sleep problems or not They may be sleeping well but this book can help you deal with other issues going on in your life BTW middle age starts at about 30 35 truth As always, I try to find a reason to not rate with stars as I love emojis outside of their incessant use by Social Influencer Millennials on Instagram and Twitter so let s give it I had the opportunity to read an early release copy thanks to NetGalley in exchange for an honest review I wasn t sure what to expect from this book and kept pushing it to the bottom of my to read list Once I began reading, it was difficult to put down While I technically fall just out of the GenX range, being on the cusp, I could relate to virtually everything From being a latch key, self raising kid to the struggle with success, failure, and dare I say it, menopause The book is a compilation of stories, and outstanding bibliography, and even a mix tape list of songs to describe the stages of a woman s life The book does not provide a quick solution but instead left me thinking and pondering how to reframe my story I d encourage anyone in their 40 s and beyond to spend some time with this book. You come to this place, midlife You don t know how you get here, but suddenly you re staring 50 in the face Yes this was me 6 years ago when i turned the big 5 0 and I knew this book was written about me Especially with the title as I have not slept good in YEARS But this book is about the facts of being in the Generation X group of women which according to this book, I miss it by a year since I was born in 1963 I found myself skimming large sections because I was losing interest Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this book and this is my honest opinion. Witty, well researched, and full of compassion, Ada Calhoun s book about Gen X women s midlife crises issues concerns hits home If you re a Gen X woman, you will find here someone who watched all the same TV shows, listened to all the same music, and had all the same fears as you did growing up She ll show you how growing up in the 1970s and 1980s affects some of the things you may be facing now that you re in your forties And she offers strategies for dealing with such varied things as pre menopause, divorce, being single with children, being single and childless, work related stress, and reconciling the dreams you had for yourself with the reality you are now experiencing I really connected with a lot in this book I turn 40 in a couple months and I can see myself rereading portions of this for the next decade Thanks, Ada I received a free ARC of this book through Netgalley.From the title of this book, you might think it s about sleep, but really the focus is on what are the biggest worries of the Generation X The author is only a year older than me so being in the same cohort, it was reassuring to read that I am not alone in my anxiety Financial concerns make up a large part of what keeps us up at night An interesting read. I cannot believe I was blessed to read this AMAZING book before it was formally released I was invited to read this book through NetGalley Ada Calhoun s Why We Can t Sleep has become my bible, my battle cry, my feminist go to book for women my age I got so much out of reading this book The very second I picked up this book I literally absorbed each and every word and got angrier in the best possible way , passionate, and dedicated to my own goals and missions I legitimately thought I was all alone I was relieved and felt vindicated in reading this book I enjoyed reading how the author interviewed many women of our generation and I liked how not every woman had their lives all mapped out The book was immensely relatable and any woman who grew up in the 1980s will understand all of the references, will understand about the laissez faire manner in which we were raised by our parents and handled by teachers and administration We inherited a lot of negative things that we had no idea would reverberate for so many years to come I, too, grew up believing that I was entitled to the American Dream I, too, wanted to have it all but nearing 40, I have nothing This was not from lack of trying We were lied to as kids We were raised, brainwashed, really, into thinking that every single person would grow up to be successful and to believe that we would all be married by 30, have two point five kids, live in a big house in an affluent area, and have a slew of cats and dogs I have none of those I never got married, I only recently decided to take the leap and finally pursue my dream even though I am so, so poor and often regret my decision I have no kids, no desire to have them, and spent too many years trying to please others and trying to fit into some mold that other people tried shoving me in I ve only recently grown the huevos to finally say enough is enough and to fight for what I want in life This book is a testament to women of our generation to keep fighting for what we want in life Happiness really is relative and we have to fight for what happiness feels like by our own definition, not by what society claims will make us happy I liked how Ms Calhoun discusses the repercussions of feminism I like exploring the idea of what the first wave of feminists had envisioned and what feminism looks like now I feel that because of this movement, women who do not have the personality or disposition to hold a traditional full time job that is demanding and lucrative is seen as weak, lazy, or unambitious I like exploring the concept that feminism has many layers and that having that job does not make you of a woman, and not having that job, does not make you less of one.My dissertation was about the recession implications of employment challenges faced by single, educated, childless women in the United States I wrote this at a time where I could not get enough people to participate in my study I feel that my topic was way ahead of its time but feel I d make progress with this topic now Women are braver now, confident, and are paving their own futures regardless of perceived societal norms More women are opting to marry later, if at all, and are opting to have children later, or not at all I feel that I spent my whole life taking care of other people At this phase in my life, I m choosing to be selfish and to take care of myself for once and that doesn t involve getting married or having children I m at peace with my decision Yes, I worry about my future Yes, I worry about not having a pension, 401k, decent health insurance, a man to grow old with to help me financially, etc I worry about those things every day But this book allowed me to feel how I feel without judgment, without fear, and with relief that others feel and think similarly to how I feel I am so privileged to be able to have read this book early What an amazing read and worth reading if you are a Generation X, middle aged woman, who is still trying to figure out why the hell we can t sleep I was lucky to receive an early copy of this book from Edelweiss I have read a lot of books about women in today s society, but never one that examined the problem from a generational lens I did my master s research paper on generations in the workplace, specifically the library, and it was really interesting to get a new perspective on it Calhoun is a member of Generation X, and so the book focuses mostly on that generation, but there is plenty of context from the other generations as well It was a really eye opening way to look at the multiple disconnects in American middle class society, and the takeaway is also that Generation X is stronger than they think Having dealt with a lot of crap in their young lives, hitting the workforce at the time of some major recessions, and now being in debt and squeezed between young kids and aging parents and yet they keep pressing on, working hard, showing the world that they have something to offer I myself am an early Millennial, one year away from being Gen X sometimes we re known as the Oregon Trail Generation because we were the last kids to grow up without the Internet, but we did have computers, and we had Oregon Trail So I learned some things about growing up in the 70s, while also relating to the world of the 80s, which I vaguely remember from my young childhood Although there aren t easy answers to the conundrums here, the book sheds light on them and offers perspective Although Calhoun does talk about her life my favorite anecdote was about British Club it s less a memoir than some of the other books on this topic of thorough, researched journalism, which is refreshing I do love a good memoir and an author s perspective, but it was nice to see a different approach.